Author Archives: Source

Trauma Bonding: Why People Repeat being Abuse Victims

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] It’s only fair to share… Attachment to others has been shown to be the basic human motivation. When people are victimized at a young age, their brains actually adapt to their environment and they learn that the way to attach is to be a victim. This is not just a psychological phenomenon; it is […]

How Childhood Trauma Can Ruin Your Current Relationship and How to Heal So It Doesn’t

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] It’s only fair to share… As a therapist, I deal with couples that are having challenges in their relationship. As a professor at the USC School of Social Work, I teach graduate students the relationship between early developmental childhood trauma and the emotional, behavioral and cognitive symptoms that clients present when they come see […]

Verbal Abuse Can Be Subtle and Traumatic

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] It’s only fair to share… This article will be written as if the males are the abusers and the females are the victims, which is true according to research the majority of the time. However, if you are a male that is the victim or a female who is the perpetrator, please just swap […]

5 Steps to Recover from the Emotional Trauma of Abuse

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] It’s only fair to share… Whether it is physical, sexual or verbal abuse, victims have emotional wounds. If these wounds make it difficult to move on or you repeat the same victimization over and over again, or you avoid future relationships because of the past, you may have PTSD, post traumatic stress disorder. The […]

3 Ways Caring Relationships Can Help a Trauma Survivor

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] It’s only fair to share… Newborns and young babies depend on their caretakers to regulate their emotions until their brain is sufficiently developed to be able to regulate more on their own. When a person goes through a trauma, there is cortisol shooting through the person’s system and is it difficult to regulate feelings […]

The Difference Between Hearing and Listening

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]Author Ali Soleymaniha is an expert in conflict management. Over the course of a decade, he’s watched people completely miss out on a key component of strong communication and more fulfilling relationships: Effective listening. Most people think they have a handle on it. They think they know the difference between what they thought they heard […]

Timing is Everything When it Comes to Marriage Counseling

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]Marriage counseling isn’t magic. It’s hard work. It’s about a couple’s motivation and timing. Only time with a counselor will tell whether a couple has waited too long. Timing is a vital component in whether marriage counseling works. “Last resort” sessions don’t do much good. Dr. John Gottman, relationship and marriage expert, notes that most […]

How Cheating Cheats the Cheater

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] It’s only fair to share… When infidelity happens, we think if it as the person who had the affair cheated ON his or her partner. And of course that is true! However, I can show you how the cheater cheats him or herself. But firstly, ask yourself if you know someone who cheated who […]

Ashley Madison and Your Marriage

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] It’s only fair to share… “Life is short. Have an affair.” This is the motto of the Ashley Madison site; a site where married partners can supposedly meet other married people discreetly and have an affair. Of course, as we have learned in the news, due to hacking as well as pure technology, there […]

Five Rules of Fidelity

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] It’s only fair to share… I talk a lot about how to heal from infidelity and I have helped a lot of couples thrive after this interpersonal crisis. Having said that, being faithful to your spouse or committed partner has many advantages. These advantages include No guilt or anxiety about secrets It is easier […]

Why Women Cheat

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]It’s only fair to share… I’ve been helping couples survive and thrive after infidelity for 30+ years in my practice. Over the years I have noticed that there is a difference between why women cheat and why men cheat. Watch the video below where I explain the three reasons why women cheat. I have one […]

Facebook and Infidelity

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] It’s only fair to share… I have come across several studies that say about 1 in 5 people flirt using Facebook. My practice is filled with couples that called me due to infidelity that started with social media. I love social media myself. It is good for my business and it is fun for […]

How To Have Better Communication in Your Marriage

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]As a therapist I have noticed a trend. Couples who struggle the most do not communicate. Learning to communicate takes practice. Don’t feel bad if you struggle with this. Do something about it! Your marriage will be better than it has ever been. Someone told me recently about a suggestion they got right before their […]

Broken Together: The Truth About Marriage

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]I am simply in love with this song called Broken Together by Casting Crowns. In case you haven’t heard it, I’ve included the lyrics below. Before you read it though, let me tell you why I love it so much. I love it because it tells the truth about marriage. The truth is that marriage […]

Infidelity in Oklahoma City

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]According to the Huffington Post, Oklahoma City ranks in the top 5 cities with the most infidelity. Thanks to ashleymadison.com, a dating website for married people looking for an affair, we now have statistics on infidelity. According to Ashley Madison, Oklahoma City ranks #5 for “discreet encounters” among married people. The full article can be […]

Communication in Relationships: Effective and Destructive

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] It’s only fair to share… Effective: Clean communication- clean communication is when the only intent of your communication is to reveal something about yourself. Example: I am angry with you for getting defensive rather than listening. Destructive: Unclean communication- unclean communication is when you have other intentions such as punishing the other person defending […]

Improving Sex Lives for Parents with Young Children

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]It’s only fair to share… As I continue my month-long theme of Sexuality Through the Years, today’s blog is about parents who have young children. These parents are usually still in their sexual prime but there bodies might not feel like it, especially the mom! Lack of sleep as well as constantly paying attention for […]

Healthy Couples Make for Healthy Children

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]It’s only fair to share… “Are you kidding? You are asking me to be romantic with my husband and to flirt with him? I don’t even have time to go to the bathroom sometimes with my 3 kids running around during the summer. Two are in camps, one has to go to junior lifeguards and […]

Relationships are everything!

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]It’s only fair to share… As you know, I am passionate and helping people in intimate relationships rediscover and increase their passion. Below are a few examples of what I do: I see couples in person and via Skype to help them overcome their barriers to nurturing, alive relationships I do teleseminars and occasion live […]

Sexuality Through the Years

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] It’s only fair to share… Sexuality is an important aspect for us throughout our lives. Watch this video to see how it evolves through the decades. I cover the transitions of life before kids, through kids, physiological changes, on up to maintaining a sexual connection with your partner past the 80s! I’ve included some […]

Sex in the Older Years

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] It’s only fair to share… If we take good care of ourselves, our sexual system can outlast just about every organ system we have. People have the opportunity to enjoy sexual pleasure well into their older years. Couples that have attended to their relationship through the years can enjoy lovemaking based on sexual and […]

Sexuality at Middle Age

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]It’s only fair to share… Continuing the July theme of Sexuality Through the Years, this brief blog article discusses sexuality at middle age. Middle age is a pretty loose term. For most of us, it covers the time of having adolescent and young adult children, beginnings of perimenopause and menopause, and being empty nesters. Having […]

The Top Myths About Relationships

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]There are myths in every aspect of sociology, but relationship myths take the cake with how many there are, and how wrong they can be. Here are five of the most common: Half of all marriages end in divorce. Not true. Yes, there may be half the number of divorces as there are marriages in […]